Be cautious when making your first offer on a property, or negotiations could end before they begin

So what do you do if you’ve found a home, it’s for private sale, and you want to make an offer? How you kick the ball into play, to use the vernacular, can be even more important than the actual amount – especially at the highest level. Too often buyers’ first efforts are way out of bounds and the game is over on the first move.

Slamming a deadline on a low-ball price, for instance, not only has limited chance of acceptance, but can also offend – making a future, more realistic offer harder to get over the line. On the other hand a careless high-ball comment can make it almost impossible to offer sensibly afterwards.

Before you step over the negotiation white line please understand that the first thing you say and how you say it often becomes the foundation around which negotiations are built.

If those foundations are faulty, your dreams may come crashing down on a home you could have bought had you done your homework, executed a plan well and shown some respect.

I know it can be hard to accept, but sellers and their agents have feelings, too.

Mal James is principal of James Buyer Advocates, which advocates on behalf of buyers of property over $1 million. Mal writes weekly auction reports, advice and in-depth market analysis on James' website.