Ideal for a small dog! Seven tips to avoid real estate advertising disaster

GUEST OBSERVATION

Cringe-worthy, confusing and sometimes plain bizarre, real estate advertising can provide an endless source of entertainment. But why is so much real estate advertising amusingly awful?

It turns out there is a very simple explanation. Despite real estate agents proclaiming themselves as experts in property marketing, most have never actually been trained to write an ad. Much like skydiving, bus driving or navigating an oil tanker without any training, the results are predictably disastrous.  

Below are just a few snippets from recent real estate ads along with some very basic tips for those agents who wish to avoid sounding ridiculous.

• Tip one: Put a little thought into your headline

IDEAL FOR A SMALL DOG!

A bad headline can really get things off to a shaky start. Having implied they are selling a tiny kennel, this agent is unlikely to lure a huge numbers of buyers.

• Tip two: Before using a big word make sure you know what it means

Unequalled luxury and classic contemporary elegance personified.

It is possible this house morphs into a human being. It could be something like a Transformer which is part house and part George Clooney. It is far more likely however that the agent failed to consult a dictionary and find out what ‘personified’ actually means.

• Tip three: Houses are generally incapable of emotion

This exceptional two storey residence enjoys one of Sydney's most coveted addresses.

What else does this house enjoy? Tim Tams, ice skating and romantic walks on the beach? Do other houses get sad when they are stuck on a main road in a dodgy suburb? While excitable agents are known to get carried away, they should always remember they are selling an inanimate object.

• Tip four: A house is not a lifestyle

Here is an ideal lockup & go lifestyle

‘Lifestyle’ is one of real estate’s most overused and misused buzzwords. When you buy a house your lifestyle may well be dominated by working 60 hours a week to pay for your mortgage, then going to Bunnings on the weekend for all those exciting DIY projects. It can only be assumed this agent is attempting to glamorise this lifestyle of constantly locking up and going to work or Bunnings.

• Tip five: A sentence is not a stir fry

Relishing its impressive 151m2 of living space in a boutique setting, this freshly presented two-storey townhouse responds to its vibrant lifestyle location with a sanctuary-style ambience encompassing fuss-free interior finishes, an expansive wraparound courtyard with masses of potential and an idyllic leafy aspect.

Many agents create sentences the same way they create a stir fry. They throw completely everything in, jumble it all around and expect to turn out something amazing.  What they actually end up with is a confusing, off-putting mess. Most could markedly improve their ads simply by adding in a few more full stops.

• Tip six: Show a little sensitivity

OWNER RELOCATED TO RETIREMENT VILLAGE!!

While securing a new listing may be extremely exciting, it may be perceived as poor form to publicly celebrate your vendor’s dementia, recent stroke or simple inability to keep climbing their home’s stairs. The capital letters and multiple exclamation marks used in this headline also create an annoying shouting effect, which makes this agent sound particularly callous.

• Tip seven: Do not make your high school English teacher cry

You simply cant replace this. Its Impossible.

Sure, this agent may have ignored all those high school lessons on apostrophes, distracted by their raging hormones and their secret crush on the girl sitting in the second row. Why, however did they have to ignore all the squiggly lines which popped up on their computer’s grammar checker? There’s simply no need to make your old English teacher think their professional life was completely wasted.

While it is easy to laugh at bad real estate advertising, agents should be taking the task of writing ads far more seriously. Awful ads damage the reputation of the industry and do little to help clients who have forked out thousands for professional marketing. Basic training can help agents to avoid the common mistakes and create ads which get results rather than just giggles.

Jamie Watson is the developer of REwrite, a new online CPD training program which helps agents to write better ads.